


Twitterpatted

by TKelParis



Series: Non-Rose-Colo(u)red Glasses [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Rose fans might want to skip this one, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2019-10-06 23:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17354423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TKelParis/pseuds/TKelParis
Summary: The Doctor and a number of companions run into the wise man of love, Jack Harkness. He foresees interesting things in their futures.





	Twitterpatted

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to not go to Disney stuff or fairy tales, but this one has been floating in my head. And keeps popping up... so I jotted an outline down so I could move on to other things. Until I needed something for this season.
> 
> I think it was my beta who said that Jack doesn't blend in. He... marinades. I have to agree. :)

**Title** : Twitterpatted  
**Rating** : T  
**Author** : [](https://tkel-paris.livejournal.com/profile)[**tkel_paris**](https://tkel-paris.livejournal.com/)  
**Summary** : The Doctor and a number of companions run into the wise man of love, Jack Harkness. He foresees interesting things in their futures.  
**Disclaimer** : Not mine, still.  
**Dedication** : [](https://tardis-mole.livejournal.com/profile)[**tardis_mole**](https://tardis-mole.livejournal.com/) as a Christmas present (so sorry that Flipped 2 wouldn't let me write it) and [](https://serenityslady.livejournal.com/profile)[**serenityslady**](https://serenityslady.livejournal.com/) as a birthday present (thought you'd appreciate this one ;D). And [](https://bas-math-girl.livejournal.com/profile)[**bas_math_girl**](https://bas-math-girl.livejournal.com/) for beta reading.  
**Author's Note** : I've tried to not go to Disney stuff or fairy tales, but this one has been floating in my head. And keeps popping up... so I jotted an outline down so I could move on to other things. Until I needed something for this season.  
  
I'm sure this won't be the first time I take inspiration from that source. But this will be the only one inspired by Bambi, I promise y'all.  
  
  
  
  
  
**Twitterpated**  
  
**Started September 19, 2012**  
**Finished December 23, 2012**  
  
  
The Doctor wasn't thrilled with his company. Rose, Jackie, and Mickey were walking around with him. And the conversations weren't great – let alone the attention. How they wound up in a park area of London adored by... oh, dare he say it... lovers, he would never know.  
  
He was also not happy with Rose's attention. He'd done all he could to tune out her words, but some things just pushed past his filters:  
  
“Rose,” her mother complained, “could you even live now outside the TARDIS? Hold a job, raise a family?!”  
  
“That doesn't matter! He needs me!”  
  
Mickey groaned. “He seems pretty self-sufficient to me. And he's hardly paying you any attention.”  
  
“Mickey! You don't know what you're talking about!”  
  
He badly wanted to change the subject, but he needed something to distract Rose with. And where was something shiny to work?  
  
“Hello!” boomed an American voice. “You all look like you need advice.”  
  
The Doctor grinned. Oh, here was a lucky break! “Well, look! It's Jack Harkness! Have you heard of him?”  
  
Jackie blinked. “The name sounds familiar, but what's an American doing in this part of London? You look like you're at home here.”  
  
“Well...” The Doctor thought a moment about what to say. How to explain this?  
  
Luckily, Jack was happy to toot his own horn. “Why, I am known far and wide for my knowledge and wisdom on love, happiness, and contentment.”  
  
The Doctor snorted. “What he doesn't say is that he's from the future.”  
  
Before any of his companions could react, Jack laughed. “Ah, but I do try to blend in. I love this place and time – lots of things are becoming acceptable, so I just seem like an oddity – but I've never led anyone astray. If they're asking for help finding love, I can tell them what they need to know.”  
  
“Well, how do you get someone to admit their feelings or do something about them?” Rose asked, clearly thinking about getting the Doctor involved with her.  
  
Jack looked at her for a moment, and sighed. “Let's all sit on those benches and I'll enlighten you on some things that need to be said.”  
  
Eyebrows raised, the Doctor rolled right next to Jack. “Ah, but there are very different feelings that humans call love. What kind do you specialise in?”  
  
“The kind that lasts a lifetime,” Jack proclaimed. “Humans don't need help finding objects of lust and infatuation. Ask any teenage fan-girl – she'll latch on to someone she's never met, and probably never has a chance with. That's all about escaping from her life, not making the best of what she has and becoming better.”  
  
As they sat, Rose frowned. “But love... it's all-consuming, it burns, makes the rest of the world seem not real.” She looked at the others, and noticed that not one of them was smiling at her. Even the Doctor looked rather like he... pitied her?!  
  
“Ah, Rose,” Jack sighed aloud. “You're thinking of that weak in the knees feeling, head in a whirl, feeling like you're walking on air. Right?” She nodded, and he shook his head. “That's not love. Jackie, I bet you can tell us.”  
  
Rose scoffed. “What would she know?!”  
  
Jackie glared at her child. “Love,” she began tightly, “is not about shutting out others. It's about letting people in, accepting them as they are. You're open to the world... together. You share in each other's triumphs, you support each other when times go bad, and you build a life together. Real love is when you can accept their flaws and not try to make them different. Of course, that means you have to be mature enough to be strong yourself, to know what really makes you happy and be willing to make someone else happy without sacrificing yourself.”  
  
Mickey nodded. “Yeah, treating them – and others – like people who have their own opinions, and respecting their differences. Knowing they're not an extension of you, even if you do happen to support each other's strengths and balance out each other's weaknesses.”  
  
Jack nodded. “That's real love, Rose. That's true twitterpation.”  
  
Rose blinked. “Twitterpated? But that's exactly what I described!”  
  
“No,” Jack stressed. “You're confusing what you think of as love with that stage where a couple in a grown-up love are so enthralled with each other because they can't quite believe they made it to where they are, and are in a bit of euphoria.”  
  
“I remember that feeling,” Jackie sighed. “Pete and I, when we first married, we felt exactly that way. I just... we let our worries about supporting you, Rose, get in the way of the knowledge that we needed each other.”  
  
“That explains a few things,” the Doctor muttered, thinking of 1987 and that disaster.  
  
Before Jackie could question him, he was saved by Jack's irrepressible manners. “See, Rose: your mom and Mickey know what it is, and I suspect that Doc here has once known that feeling. Am I right?”  
  
The Doctor laughed, knowing it was high-pitched. “Eh, once. A long time ago for me.”  
  
Rose's eyes went wide with the implications.  
  
Shrugging, the Doctor thought of the perfect way to get Rose off his back. “Anyway, it probably can't happen to me again.”  
  
Jack grinned. “Let's see about that, Doc. Something ginger your way comes.”  
  
He looked up. “What do you mean?”  
  
“Three of you will meet someone today,” Jack said, ignoring the Doctor's words. “One of you will prove for good that you're not an idiot, one will be reunited with someone pushed out of their life by someone close to them, and the third will get the greatest shock of their life – which they should've seen coming. The fourth... will be waiting a while yet to find love.”  
  
Rose shook her head. She could hear the hint. “You're wrong! You're all wrong!” She looked at the Doctor imploringly.  
  
Jack shook his head with a sad smile. “I'm kinda psychic, Rose. And I've never been wrong.” His naturally jovial nature bounced back. “And you, beautiful, are too young to be worried about such things. You'll have your pick of admirers, I promise you. Before you're finally ready to settle with one man. Get that flirting out of your system,” he teased with a wink.  
  
Mickey snorted. “Never thought females could have wild oats to sow.”  
  
“Mickey!” Rose was even more horrified that her own mother didn't protest. Nor did the Doctor. He actually looked amused, trying to not laugh. She glared at him, and her ire deepened when it had no effect.  
  
A loud feminine groan broke the tension. Someone was coming their way. A beautiful, dark-skinned young woman walked briskly into view. Mickey lost his breath, instantly intrigued.  
  
Not wanting Rose to see where his thoughts were, the Doctor decided to see whether this might be Mikey's chance to shine. “Problem, miss?”  
  
She looked up at him from her cell phone. “Sorry. I just... my family, my job, and my computer. They're all giving me trouble today. I just want a little peace and quiet,” she added, with a tiny grin at the Doctor.  
  
Rose saw red. “Leave him alone!” she screamed, practically jumping between them.  
  
Mickey burst over and tugged her back. “Hey! No taking out your own hurts on an innocent woman!”  
  
Jackie reached him and dragged Rose away. “Yes, Rose. I know I raised you better than that!”  
  
Mickey turned to the woman, deeply apologetic. “I'm so sorry. She used to be my girlfriend, but she's kind of fixated on this bloke here. Doesn't like that I've moved on. Anyway... you probably don't want to hear about that. I'm Mickey Smith.” He extended his hand, gentleman-like, and beamed warmly at her.  
  
She slowly smiled back, just as big. “Martha Jones.” She accepted his hand. “Sounds like your day's been eventful, too.”  
  
“Yeah, but what can I do about that except walk away? But did I hear you say your computer's acting up?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Why don't you tell me about it? I've been studying computers. Maybe I can help you find a solution, or even diagnose it for you.”  
  
Her shoulders suddenly seemed a bit lighter. “Maybe this will be a good day after all.” She let him walk her away toward another bench as he started to coax the problem out of her.  
  
Jackie looked at Jack in awe. “Is that his future wife?!” she quietly demanded.  
  
Jack grinned. “Yeah. About to be a physician. She's brilliant and got a level head about her.”  
  
“Good! About time he got a girl who treats him right!” She glared at Rose. “You just lost out on a young man who's going places!”  
  
“Mum!” Rose's horror was muted by the shock and hurt. “How can he just... move on like that?!”  
  
“It's not like you were treating him well,” the Doctor pointed out. “I only called him an idiot to make him prove that he's not one. You did it because you believed the idiot routine. He's was clearly just trying to not make waves.”  
  
Jackie couldn't hide her delight. “I'd started to think he was too good for Rose, anyway. I'm happy for them. She seems a like good person.”  
  
Jack grinned. “One down, two to go today.”  
  
Rose shook her head again. “That was coincidence! Nothing more!”  
  
Jack checked his watch. “Next coming up...”  
  
The Doctor noticed a man walking toward them, clearly having noticed Jackie. “Do any of you know him?”  
  
Jackie turned and her mouth fell. “Howard?!”  
  
Howard smiled at her. “Hello, Jackie. You're looking well.”  
  
Rose didn't like the way he and her mum were looking at each other. “What are you doing here?!” she snapped at him. “I told you after Christmas, we don't need you!”  
  
“Hush!” her mother yelled. She stood, blushing even as she smiled. “You're doing okay?”  
  
He looked at her a moment, taking a deep breath. “Not as well as I did with you. I've missed you, Jackie. I shouldn't have let Rose drive me off. I want to know if you'll ever want to marry again.”  
  
Rose's jaw dropped. She couldn't even move.  
  
The Doctor and Jack were grinning warmly. Here was someone who deserved a second chance.  
  
Jackie's eyes watered and she covered her mouth. “Oh...” She dropped her hand. “After all she said, you'll deal with her?”  
  
“She's your daughter. That makes her my family since I want you to be part of mine.”  
  
She wasn't letting this slip through her hands. “Yes!” The tears fell freely as she rushed into his arms, clutching him close.  
  
Nearby, Mickey and Martha noticed the commotion. He grinned, telling her what had happened between the two earlier. She was glad to see they got a deserved second chance.  
  
Rose stared in silent horror. Her mouth moved like a gaping fish. Although, the Doctor thought with a smile he hid behind his hand, that might be insulting to fish.  
  
Jack caught his eye. You're next, he mouthed.  
  
The Doctor raised a skeptical eyebrow.  
  
Suddenly his sonic made a loud noise. He pulled it out in a hurry, and checked its readings. “Oh, that's odd.”  
  
A feminine scream cut through the air.  
  
His eyes widened. “Better go see!” He promptly rushed off.  
  
Rose noticed. “Wait for me!”  
  
Jack hurried after, not willing to let her interfere. Much. The others followed, concerned.  
  
The Doctor followed the direction his sonic told him to go, but he could've followed the screaming – it was in the same area. He rushed into a clearing and found a ginger woman fighting against three attackers – who were clearly alien to Earth. Nearby two men and one woman shouting at the aliens while being held back by others. He recognized them as belonging to a crime syndicate, but what did they want with this Earth woman?  
  
“Let me go, you creepy pervs!” shouted the woman, who the Doctor suddenly noted was ginger.  
  
“You were foretold to be the most important woman in the whole of creation,” one said in a gleeful voice. “We will benefit from that.”  
  
Oh, he couldn't let this kidnapping happen. He aimed the sonic.  
  
A loud burst made all the aliens let go of their captives and cover their ears. Then the humans all knocked them unconscious within moments. The ginger was especially quick with her movements, which the Doctor found really impressive given she was wearing a dress.  
  
With the last one down, the Doctor rushed to the woman. “Are you all right?”  
  
She turned her angry eyes on him. “Who the hell are you?!”  
  
The Doctor stopped cold. He'd seen this woman before – in the Untempered Sctizm when he was a little boy. Although she hadn't been wearing a black dress that showed enough cleavage to make a dead man come back to life. Never mind that she had a figure to make those models for the famous painters die of envy. “I... I'm the Doctor.”  
  
She scoffed while the others hurried over to her side. “No, really, who are you?! Who uses a title as their name?”  
  
He flinched at the tone, but was more surprised by a sudden urge to impress this woman. Especially since he could hear Rose and the rest running after him. “Well, I can't use my real name. And I did just save your life from some really bad aliens. So, that's me: the Doctor. You?” He hoped he sounded pleasant, because he couldn't understand his physical or emotional reactions to her.  
  
She narrowed her eyes, but answered him. “Donna.”  
  
The older of the two men looked at the Doctor in awe. “Are you one of them aliens?!”  
  
He twitched, but nodded.  
  
“What are those creatures?” demanded the older, blonde woman. “What do they want with my daughter?!”  
  
As he heard Rose and the others caught up, he sighed. “Well, I haven't had a chance to find out yet. Will you give me a moment to ask some questions?”  
  
“My eyes are up here, Skinny Boy!”  
  
He blushed, caught.  
  
The blonde groaned. “I told you wearing that dress was a bad idea!”  
  
Donna rolled her eyes. “Oi! So I happened to run into Minnie Manton when I was trying it on. She urged me to wear a revealing dress today. 'Today,' she told me, 'you will meet a man of riches – material and immaterial – beyond your dreams. He is your future husband. Just look past your first impressions of him.' Well,” she snapped, “the day's almost over. Where's Minnie's instincts when I need them?!” She tossed an angry look the Doctor's way.  
  
He gulped. Anger seemed to make her even more beautiful.  
  
Rose laughed. “What, you think you're young enough to pull that off?! You're a ginger cow-”  
  
The Doctor whirled on her. “Rose Tyler, shut up!”  
  
She was stunned.  
  
He turned back toward Sylvia. “What's wrong with her choice? She looks amazing. And who are you to snap at your own child?”  
  
The blonde straightened, indignant. “Sylvia Noble, thank you kindly. And if you're an alien, then how do we know you're not involved with them?!”  
  
“Well, I've never-! You're wrong. I would never kidnap anyone! And I certainly don't treat gingers like they're an inferior kind!” The last part he aimed more at Rose.  
  
Donna blinked. “Well, what do you do? And what's that silly thing that made that awful noise?!”  
  
He glared at her. “It's a sonic screwdriver. Their species is vulnerable to sonic-frequencies, and I used that to save you. I also sent a distress signal to an Earth agency I've worked for in the past. They'll scoop these people up, no problem.”  
  
The younger of the older men spoke. “Well, we have to stick around to give statements, right? Time later for planning your trip to Spain, Donna.”  
  
Mickey's ears perked. “What will you do there?”  
  
Donna straightened with a bit of pride. “SCUBA diving.”  
  
The Doctor grinned. “Oh you're certified?”  
  
She nodded.  
  
“There, see, Rose? SCUBA diving requires a lot of strength. What you're calling fat is actually a lot of muscle under a _very_ womanly figure. What else do you do?”  
  
Rose opened her mouth to interject, but Jack intervened. “Let's not stress people who need to talk about something frightening. Let's let them relax while we wait for the authorities.” His comments, said with a smile, were plainly a warning to Rose. But he made it a bit clearer when she opened her mouth again. “After all, that's what _adults_ do.”  
  
That shut her up. She couldn't speak until after people called UNIT came to collect the aliens. She wanted to go over and talk with the Doctor, but he insistent on asking all sorts of questions of the ginger. And her family stayed near her, although Jackie managed to engage Sylvia in a discussion about rearing children – which seemed to give Jackie ideas. Howard talked with Geoffrey (Donna's father), and Mickey and Martha were chatting Wilf about his telescope and how computers could be used in exploring the night sky.  
  
The Doctor lost all track of time, he was so engrossed in learning about Donna Noble. Secretary and temp she might be, he could see a huge depth yet to be mined – even by her. Before long, he was even answering her questions about him – honestly, not like he answered what questions Rose asked him. He found himself thrown by how _engrossed_ he was in learning about her – and his willingness to let her learn about him.  
  
For her part, Donna couldn't believe how wonderful he was behaving toward her. He was an admitted alien – the kind her grandfather looked for, not the immigrant one – and yet he was showing up all the blokes she'd ever met. More gentleman-like than her dreams, and he seemed like he was paid well by these UNIT people. Manners, money, and with looks that grew on you after a while.  
  
Finally, it was all over. Sylvia got them a car to take them home – theirs was evidently ruined by those aliens. She rounded her husband and father, and called to her daughter.  
  
Donna practically jumped to her feet, and sighed to cover her nerves as the Doctor popped to his own. “Well, best be off. Be watching the lottery announcement tonight.” She tugged a ticket out of her cleavage, making more than one pair of eyes go wide. “What? My purse has limited space, and this is a more secure spot. Besides, I don't have pockets. Anyway, it's a wild hope to win the lottery, but... it's triple rollover this week. I can't help but hope I'll get lucky. We could certainly use the money to pay off the mortgages – Gramps and my parents each have one – and then I could travel more. Haven't done as much of it since I grew up. You know... walk in the dust, as you said.”  
  
She was smiling so much, willing hope to turn into reality that the Doctor felt his breath taken away.  
  
“Anyway, thanks. I'll never forget what you did, or your encouragement.” She hesitated, and then tossed caution aside and gave him a peck on the cheek. “See ya, if I'm lucky.” She joined her family and got in the car, leaving a silent, dazed, and wobbly Doctor behind.  
  
He'd detected a lot of nervousness in her manner, a reluctance to leave. So why had she? He wracked his big brain for a reason.  
  
“Good riddance!” cried Rose. “Why would anyone want _her_?!”  
  
Mickey turned on her. “Not all men like the same thing, Rose! Hell, some men would think you're homely!”  
  
That started an argument that Jackie quickly got involved in out of anger at her daughter's callous thinking. She tore into her daughter, her temper flared beyond control.  
  
Not that the Doctor heard any of it. His mind was struggling to figure out what Donna Noble was thinking in going away. Hadn't she wanted to stay?  
  
Jack stepped up next to him, taking advantage of Rose's distraction. “Remember what I said about twitterpation? If your feelings are strong, and come on suddenly, you can be afraid to act on them – thinking they're not serious when they're actually a clue that you've found your destiny. You of all people should know that.”  
  
The Doctor stared at him in shock.  
  
“Do you want her to go off and be with someone else, settling for less than she deserves?” Jack asked, determined to get him to act. “Don't you deserve a bit of happiness to carry you forward? Doesn't she deserve someone who'll treat her like the treasure you know in your soul that she is?” He also nodded off to the side, before whispering the address he overheard and when he thought they'd be home.  
  
The Doctor remembered that where Jack nodded was where he'd parked the TARDIS. “Thank you,” he whispered. He ran into his ship, determined to locate her.  
  
Rose didn't know he'd left until she heard the engines. Being left behind without a word was new to her, and rendered her speechless. Until Howard had to help take her and Jackie home. Mickey and Martha left in her car.  
  
Jack went on his own. He just knew that he'd done a good day's work, and couldn't wait to see the results.  
  
  
  
  
A year to the day later, Rose Tyler was still horrified and dismayed. She was sitting back in that bloody park that started the whole mess, because her mother had become someone she couldn't say no to. Not given that she was forced back into school if she wanted to have a roof over her head. Not one of her mates had been willing to take her in.  
  
She didn't know that Jackie had made sure to have a word with each of them about how badly she'd behaved. Given how little friendship Rose had truly showed them, they were all willing to honor her mother's wish.  
  
Rose looked off to one side. There was her mother talking quietly with Howard, each of them with a hand over her extended belly. Pregnant. Her mum was pregnant with her... new husband's child. They had waited only long enough to get a church date secured, and then until that date. Now she had a father of sorts to order her about.  
  
In an odd way, it was kind of nice. But it wasn't what she'd hoped for.  
  
Nearby, she had to endure the sight of Mickey walking along a path hand-in-hand with Martha, his fiancée. He'd utterly got over her within seconds of meeting Martha! It was the second most humiliating thing that had ever happened to her! First being the Doctor doing a runner. She hoped he hadn't gone after that ginger.  
  
Sighing, she felt the utter exhaustion that had settled over her. Dealing an ordinary human life was so mundane after traveling in the TARDIS. She wanted anything to change that, would give anything.  
  
“Hello, beautiful.”  
  
Jack. That bloody psychic. She glared at him. “Where's the Doctor?”  
  
He shrugged, sitting next to her without leave. “Oh, I have the feeling we'll see him here soon. And he won't be alone.”  
  
“What are you talking about?!”  
  
He looked around, suddenly beamed, and nodded in one direction.  
  
She looked. If Rose thought she was horrified before, the sight she laid eyes on struck her silent and dumb.  
  
There was the Doctor walking along another path with that same ginger! More shocking, he was pushing a pram! One that looked like it carried two babies! And there was a ring on his left hand, identical to one she suddenly noticed on the ginger's hand. Married. He'd... married her! Got her up the duff?!  
  
He was lost to her forever, she slowly realized. “Where did I go wrong?” she whimpered.  
  
Jack smiled sadly at her. “You looked at him as a potential meal ticket, not as the foster father he tried to be to you.”  
  
That got her attention.  
  
“Yes, Rose. He loved you as a daughter, nothing more. He was hoping you'd grow up. A grown-up doesn't let others get in the way of what they know is the right thing to do. So... Sorry, but he's hers. Has been since he laid eyes on her.” He wasn't going to explain that the true answer was more complicated than that, or that he undoubtedly had to practically beg Donna and her family for consent.  
  
But he was an expert at those adorable puppy eyes, so he'd clearly got his way – the one that Donna had wanted but been too scared to go after. Lucky that he caught her that same night... probably after he'd rigged the lottery so she won. The Doctor did like to take care of his family, Jack suspected. He pat Rose on the hand. “Well, I must be off. Remember, when you're ready for real twitterpation, I'll be there to guide you.” He walked off.  
  
Rose was left staring after the sight of the Doctor plainly acting the doting dad to his children. Or adoring his wife, who basked in his attentions.  
  
It made her sick.  
  
THE END  
  
  



End file.
